Short answer: When we asked 269 women with hirsutism what they would tell someone who just found out they have it, the same messages came up again and again: You are not alone. It is not your fault. Find a doctor who looks for the cause. Find a hair removal routine that works for you, and don’t let it run your life. Talk to someone. This page gathers their advice, in our words, alongside what the research says.
The last question in our 2019 hirsutism survey asked: “Do you have any advice for women who recently found out they have hirsutism?” Hundreds of women had already answered questions about doctors, hair removal and supplements. Their advice was the most personal part of the survey. We have grouped it into themes and paraphrased it, because respondents shared it with their support group, not for publication word for word.
1. You are not alone
This was the most common message by far. Many women said they had felt like the only one for years, and that finding other women with hirsutism changed how they felt about it. That is backed up by numbers: hirsutism affects about 5-15% of women, and most of them have PMOS (formerly PCOS).[1], [2] In our survey, 97% said their symptoms bother them, and 27% had told no one at all.[3]
What women suggested:
- Join a support group, online or in person. Several women said they learned more there than from any doctor. See our list of hirsutism support groups and forums.
- Remember that other people notice your hair far less than you do.
2. It is not your fault
Women wanted newly diagnosed women to hear this clearly. Hirsutism is caused by hormones and genes, not by anything you did. It does not make you less feminine or less beautiful. Several women described years of shame before realizing that the hair is a medical symptom, not a personal failing.
The research agrees: hirsutism is usually a sign of higher androgen levels or more sensitive hair follicles, most often because of PMOS.[1] Read what causes hirsutism.
3. Find a doctor who looks for the cause
Many women said their biggest regret was waiting. In our survey, the typical wait before talking to a doctor was three years, and nearly 1 in 4 waited ten years or longer.[3] Others said a doctor had only prescribed the pill without checking what was behind the hair.
Their advice:
- See a doctor early, and ask for blood tests to find the cause.
- If a doctor dismisses you, find another one. The Endocrine Society guideline says hirsutism should be evaluated properly, including tests for less common causes when needed.[4]
- Getting hormones under control early can help stop hair from spreading to new areas.
Not sure where to start? Our which doctor should I see tool gives you a first step, and the 2-minute self-check gives you a score to bring.
4. Find a routine that works, and keep it simple
Almost everyone in the survey removed hair regularly, mostly by plucking or shaving.[3] Women’s practical tips:
- Invest in good tools: sharp razors, good tweezers, a gentle facial trimmer.
- Shaving is fine and does not make hair thicker. It can be less irritating than plucking, which often causes ingrown hairs.
- If you can afford it, look into electrolysis or laser early. Several women wished they had started sooner. Compare costs with our laser vs electrolysis calculator.
- Treat your hair removal routine as self-care, not a punishment.
One woman’s experience is a useful warning: Laser on her chin made the hair worse until her hormones were under control. Paradoxical hair growth after laser is rare, but it is real, which is one more reason to treat the cause alongside hair removal.[5] Read our PMOS hair removal guide.
5. Be patient and realistic
Many women had spent money on supplements and products that promised quick results. Their advice was to be realistic: there is no miracle pill, and most treatments take months to show a difference. That matches the guidelines, which say to judge any medical treatment after at least six months.[4] See popular supplements vs. the evidence.
6. Talk about it
Women who had told their partner, a friend or family member mostly said it was a relief, and that people cared far less than they feared. Some had hurtful experiences too, and said it is fine to choose carefully who you tell. A few recommended seeing a therapist, because hirsutism can take a real toll on mood and self-esteem. In our survey, 80% said hirsutism had affected their personal life.[3]
- Read how to tell your partner and dating with hirsutism.
- If you feel low or anxious most days, talk to your doctor. Support for mood and body image is part of good care for PMOS.[2]
7. Don’t let it run your life
The last theme was about perspective. Women said: Take care of the hair in whatever way makes you feel comfortable, then get on with living. Don’t skip the beach, the trip or the date because of it. Self-acceptance takes time, and it gets easier.
Key takeaways
- You are not alone: hirsutism is common, and most women with it feel the same worries.
- It is not your fault. It is a medical symptom, usually of PMOS.
- See a doctor early and ask what is causing it.
- Find a hair removal routine that works for you, and be patient with treatment.
- Talk to someone you trust, and get support for your mood if you need it.
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Sources
- Escobar-Morreale HF, Carmina E, Dewailly D, et al. Epidemiology, diagnosis and management of hirsutism: a consensus statement by the Androgen Excess and Polycystic Ovary Syndrome Society. Hum Reprod Update. 2012;18(2):146-170. PubMed 22064667
- Teede HJ, Tay CT, Laven JJE, et al. Recommendations From the 2023 International Evidence-based Guideline for the Assessment and Management of Polycystic Ovary Syndrome. J Clin Endocrinol Metab. 2023;108(10):2447-2469. PubMed 37580314
- myHirsutism. Hirsutism Survey 2019: responses from 269 women with hirsutism, collected January-February 2019. Survey results
- Martin KA, Anderson RR, Chang RJ, et al. Evaluation and Treatment of Hirsutism in Premenopausal Women: An Endocrine Society Clinical Practice Guideline. J Clin Endocrinol Metab. 2018;103(4):1233-1257. PubMed 29522147
- Alajlan A, Shapiro J, Rivers JK, MacDonald N, Wiggin J, Lui H. Paradoxical hypertrichosis after laser epilation. J Am Acad Dermatol. 2005;53(1):85-88. doi:10.1016/j.jaad.2004.06.054